know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
