He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
