there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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