smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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