Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
