yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
