everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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