We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
