i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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