worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
