I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
