I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
