I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
