You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
