Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
