I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
