Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
