She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
