just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
