At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
