Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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