I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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