he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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