so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize