Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
