Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
