we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
