And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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