I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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