New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
