i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
