He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My balls are so social today.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
