Someone shit on the floor
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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