Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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