If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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