Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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