All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You're like the curious george of whores
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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