lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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