They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
