Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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