And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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