my mouth tastes like poor choices
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
