He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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