Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she peed on how many people?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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