I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize