i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
