You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
