Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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