I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
