i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
