You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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