so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
