Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
