make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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