a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
