You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
