Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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