There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
